Part 1: Ribbed Hammock
Alcohol and drugs literally cost me everything. I lost my marriage, my house, my career, my kids and ultimately my freedom. After losing everything I wound up locked up in jail in Oklahoma. When I was released I thought I’d stay sober this time and I didn’t last five minutes. I literally stopped at the liquor store on my way home.
Once I got home I immediately wanted to call my ex-wife and talk to my kids. That’s when I found out my ex-wife passed away while I was in jail and my kids were in my mother-in-laws custody back in my home town of Ramona. I hopped on a bus and came back to Ramona, without a penny to my name, to try and be there for my kids. That’s when I wound up homeless for the second time. I was lost and alone and started drinking and using even heavier to cope with being homeless and on the streets. This went on for four years.
I was finally at the lowest of lows and it had been storming for four days straight. I was sleeping in a hammock in the river bottom and I couldnt take it anymore. I was cursing God and right then my hammock ripped and I landed in the mud. I thought to myself, “I’d try one last time to ask God to show me He’s real and to save me and I’d do anything He wanted.” I prayed for Him to make the rain stop so I could get dry and warm and at that second the clouds parted and the sun came out. I got up, dusted the mud off and walked up to the store. I met Mike who worked at the store. Mike asked me if I wanted some chicken nuggets and proceeded to tell me about a place in town called Restoration Ranch. I instantly knew God was offering me a chance at redemption through an angel he sent to deliver the message. I am so grateful that God made a place like Restoration Ranch for lost souls like me to have a second chance at life.
Part 2: The Process ( Message to the brothers)
So you’re in rehab, you’re sober now, living in the bunkhouse. Waking up early to work just to barely pay your rent. You’re sharing a living space with many other addicts. You’re listening to them fight over relapse excuses, trying to stay focused in your own lane, your own recovery. You’re hitting your meetings three times a day, seven days a week. Sitting around the pool table on benches or chairs. Speaking in front of strangers and listening to other people’s pain, trying to believe that maybe, just maybe, one day yours will turn into purpose too.
There are nights when it doesn’t feel worth it. When you’re sitting on the edge of your bunk staring at the same four walls thinking, ” is this really what I got sober for?” When the silence gets so loud it starts to scream your name. When giving up feels easier than fighting through another day. Let me tell you all something, it takes a rare kind of strength to do want you’re doing. Anybody can self-destruct, anybody can run, anybody can hide behind a bottle, a pill or a pipe, but it takes a fighter to start from scratch and rebuild their life one day at a time. You’re not weak because it’s hard, you’re not broken because it hurts, you’re becoming. You’re laying the bricks for a better life that’s going to mean something.
The hard work, for the minimum wage job, the endless raking for chores. That’s not humiliation, that’s humility, that’s faith in motion. Every mile of lines raked and tear shed is proof that you’re not who you used to be.
The bunkhouse that smells like dirty feet and farts. That’s your launching pad. That’s where your comeback story is being written. Those meetings you drag yourself to, those are your classrooms where pain turns into wisdom and strangers turn into family.
Listen to me. What God is building in you right now, in this season of your life, that feels so small and insignificant is going to blow your mind when it unfolds. You’re not just surviving this chapter, you’re preparing for the next one. You might not see it yet, but you’re a walking miracle in progress, a warrior in transition, a rock star in recovery.
So don’t quit now, not when you’ve already made it this far. The world hasn’t seen what you’re capable of yet. I see you. I am proud of you, God sees you and God is proud of you. I promise you, if you keep going it does get better.
Part 3- Redemption
Since my recovery, I’ve achieved so many things that I didn’t think were ever going to be possible again. I’ve landed a full time job, paid off $2,000 of court fines, got a bank account, got my drivers license back, bought a vehicle and even started giving back to the commuity by volunteering my time at church. All of this on top of working the program and growing mentally as well. I’ve learned humility and appreciation and I’ve really came out of my shell socially. I was a loner before and really shy. I now have no problem speaking in front of others in the hopes that I can help them too. I couldn’t have achieved all of this without God and Restoration Ranch.
~Adam B.
