There are behavioral disorders which can accompany addiction. It is important to be aware of these behavior patterns as they can lead to addiction. In addition, these behavioral disorders, can hinder the recovery process, leading you back to addiction, thereby creating a continuous pattern of relapse. Many of the behaviors that go along with addiction are related to impulse control. Impulse control is a condition in which a person has difficulty stopping themselves from engaging in certain behaviors without considering the consequences. Mentally walking through potential scenarios and practicing how to stop and think before acting can help one deal with impulse tendencies. Acknowledging behavioral issues that may accompany addiction such as, lying, steeling, manipulating, obsessing and aggression, is the first step in learning how to overcome them.
Lying: making a false statement with the intent to deceive. Without lying addiction can’t survive. If a addict is truthful about their mishandling of a substance to their family, friends and bosses the addiction will be revealed and will need to be dealt with and stopped. If a person wants to continue in their addiction they will most certainly lie when asked if they are engaging in their addictive behavior. Lying has serious consequences, as it is the ultimate betrayal of trust and will likely place a long lasting wedge between relationships. In recovery, If a person wants to heal relationships one must continually practice honesty at any cost to re-establish trust.
Stealing: is the action of taking another person’s property without permission and without intending to return it. Many crimes of stealing are committed by people on drugs. Stealing is often a life line to ones addiction problem. Supporting an addiction is expensive. Often times addicts will lose their job due to inability to function properly. In a desperate attempt to keep the addiction going (as not to feel the pain of detoxification) people often steal from family, friends, employers and/or stores, and sell or exchange these items for money to buy drugs. When a person achieves recovery the stealing habits should stop. If you continue to find yourself wanting to steal , seek help from a psychologist. You may have another disorder that needs to be addressed.
Manipulating: is an attempt to manage or skillfully influence another, especially in an unfair manner. Manipulating is common in addiction. Addicts will feel their life spinning out of control and use manipulation to try to stay in control of their life. This is achieved by placing blame on someone else for their use of substances. Also, telling someone if they loved them they would help them obtain their drug of choice, lie for them, cover for them, etc. Manipulating behavior not only hurt’s the person being manipulated, but hurts the relationship with that person. In essence manipulation is using another person to achieve a gain. This is an unfair action to place on another person. Getting addiction under control should end the need to manipulate. However, sometimes it becomes a habit that is hard to break. If you find yourself continually trying to manipulate others seek help from a qualified therapist.
Obsessing: when your thoughts, feelings and desires are dominated or preoccupied. Obsessing is extremely common behavior in the life of addiction. Constantly thinking about the drug of choice, how to obtain it and the hope of the feeling it renders is at the forefront of an addicts mind. Practicing thought stopping is important in recovery. If one cannot successfully accomplish this technique on their own they may need help from a qualified behavioral therapist. Obsessing is extremely dangerous in leading someone seeking recovery to relapse. Over time, practicing thought stopping will get easier and the obsessing should stop.
Aggression: having hostile or violent behavior or attitudes toward another and a readiness to attack or confront. Often an addict will feel out of control during addiction as well as in recovery. When people are trying to live without their drug of choice, they can feel irritable and be prone to lash out. When people feel out of control there is a tendency to act aggressively. It is especially important to learn how to manage this behavior disorder because it can easily escalate into hurting someone else physically. Many people who feel unable to control their anger will benefit from anger management classes.
Most of the behaviors that accompany addiction are a result of the feeling of loss of control. We all want to feel like we have control over our lives. We do have control over our behaviors, attitude’s and actions and it starts with controlling how we think. It takes a thought to generate an action. Therefore in taking captive our thoughts and directing them in a positive direction is a start. However, many things are out of our control. We can’t control other people’s actions, feelings or decisions. We also can’t control the outcome or consequences of certain decisions or circumstances. Making a decision to make the right choices, taking responsibility for our behaviors and practicing gratitude are things we can do for a better future. The things that are out of our control we have to learn to accept and move past. We get in trouble with ourselves when we think we should be able to control the things we cannot. An example would be: we noticed a job advertisement. We feel this job would be the perfect fit. We filled out the application and went to the interview. We felt confident we did well and would get the job. The call came that they chose someone else. The disappointment would be huge, however the decision was out of our control. We tried our best. Now we have to think positively that there will be a better job for us and look again. We will keep trying until we find it. Same goes for relationships. Sometimes the people we think are the perfect match for us are not. They may not have the same feelings for us that we do for them. We cannot control another person’s feelings. There are many people in the world. We just need to be our best self and eventually we will meet our best match. Stay positive and remember, good things come to those who wait. Another thing we don’t have control over is undoing what has been done. Many of us regret the decisions and actions of our past and we would like nothing better than to erase them and start over. Unfortunately, we can’t undo past regrets. We can, however, ask the people we offended or hurt for forgiveness. In turn, we need to forgive ourselves and move past the past and try to do better. Past regrets can be powerful lessons for the future.
Fortunately the behavior patterns mentioned above are all things we can control. We never have to lie, steal, manipulate, obsess, or act aggressively. It may take time, practice and we may even need to seek help from a qualified professional, but these behavior patterns can change because we have control over them and in doing so will leading us to a brighter future.
Remember the serenity prayer:” God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.”
~Teri Storm