Imagine you’re a child, you reach for the cookie jar. You pull it to the edge of the counter. As you put your hand in the jar it tips, falls and lands crashing on the floor with cookies scattering everywhere. Your mom comes rushing in and looks right at you. You tell your mom, “the cat did it” out of fear of getting in trouble. The only problem is, you don’t have a cat. Now you will have to suffer the consequences of your actions with a time out.

Blame is common response throughout people’s life. When we’re blaming were assigning responsibility for a fault or wrong to someone or something else. As humans it is often hard to accept responsibility for things that go wrong in our lives. It’s easier to blame someone else. However, blaming someone else prevents us from analyzing our choices and actions and making positive changes to better ourselves.

In dealing with addiction, it is easy to blame others. There are many things that can go wrong in a persons life, to make one want to escape. Parents divorced, parents used themselves (setting an example), friends in High School encouraged the use, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, a doctor prescribed pain medication that grew into an addiction. These are all valid reasons a person might turn to a substance for comfort and in some of these cases blame seems appropriate. Unfortunate situations that can occur in our life can ultimately benefit our life or destroy it, depending on our choice of response. Keep in mind, using a substance isn’t dealing with emotional damage, it’s numbing it. When feelings are numbed, a person can’t heal. A choice to use drugs or alcohol traps a person and holds them in bondage, until they quit and receive the help they should have previously received. In the mean time, many months or years have gone on without being mentally present. Continuing in addiction will further harm yourself and others around you, especially those that love you.

To start the healing process, accept the choices you have made regardless of the circumstances that brought you to the place of addiction. Cookie jars don’t move on their own. Someone had to set it in motion. Face the feelings that may have caused you to want to escape. Work through the feelings with a good listening friend or counselor. Realize you are important, valuable and have skills. You are worth more than addiction will ever give you. If you reach into the cookie jar your life will ultimately shatter. Nothing good ever comes from addiction until one is able to escape it’s hold. It might be time to give yourself a timeout and seek help from people who are experienced in helping others move beyond addiction into a functioning, happy, and meaningful life. You’re worth it!
~Teri Storm