So you finally decided to seek recovery after many years of using and abusing. You committed to a rehab to help you succeed in your quest for sobriety. It has been months , you are feeling better, but now you are facing many thoughts and feelings that stem from regrets. During your years of abusing drugs and or alcohol, you most likely have damaged or completely destroyed relationships. Maybe your parents have gotten fed up years ago and now act as if you don’t exist. Perhaps you were married and your spouse had to leave because they could no longer tolerate the unpredictable life they were living. If you have children you may feel you have let them down and deprived them of the positive and dependable role model you feel you should have been. In addition, you may have lost your job, your house and all your possessions. Nevertheless, beating yourself up over past failures is never productive and will likely lead you back to using.
Everyone has regrets. Life is a process of living and learning. Each and every choice we make comes with a risk. Some seemly good choices can turn out to bad choices and conversely some bad choices can ultimately end up being good learning experiences . Getting caught up in the thought process of ” if I only would have……life would be so much better today” is unproductive and unknown. No one ever thinks by experimenting with drugs and/or alcohol they will become addicted. In addition, no one ever thinks that when they grow up they want to be an addict. Whatever the reason this choice got you to where you are today, can be turned into a learning experience with a knowledge that these substances don’t positively benefit you in anyway. Remember: ” The biggest mistake you can make it one you don’t learn from”.
It’s most productive to leave the past where it is- in the past and start today to build a new future. You are where you are for a number of reasons and it is your choice today to decide just how you are going to plan your future. Use the poor choices of your past as a reminder of what you don’t want in your future and that is all- we can learn from our past but we don’t want to live in it.
Today can be used as a foundation on which to build your future. You made a positive choice to go to rehab and now you can start building a new future with some blocks of knowledge of your past. It takes time in the path of recovery and it’s best to not rush your building process. During this time you will learn about the person you were meant to be and be able to form the type of character you want to exhibit. You may find new skills and as a result change your career path. You hopefully will learn to be thoughtful, caring and honest and reap the benefits of these traits.
In time, hopefully family members will accept the person you become rather than put you in a box with a label of what your were. This too takes time. We can change ourselves, but we can’t change others. It is up to these others to decide what they will or will not accept and this we cannot control. Sometimes we may need to leave these people in the past as well and continue the building with or without them. Let go of judgments and criticism of others and find people who believe in you. Surround yourself with like minded people who have the same goals and ambitions, people who will help hold you accountable to the person you are striving to be. This is your very important life, value it and live it to the best of your ability. Keep in mind- maybe, just maybe, you had to go through what you went through to get where you are- to learn and be what you were meant to be. We, at Restoration Ranch are here to help.